She’s done. A work in progress since January 2021. While of course I could’ve gone further, adding animation, shots, fixes, etc I reached a point where I decided the best course of action was to let it go as it is. I think that could be said about Behind Closed Doors too. She’s technically done too, just waiting to be released somewhere. And if its on something like FictionPress or even goddamn WattPad so be it. I can’t hang onto this thing forever. As much as I love it and want to keep it mine, what’s the point of having something you enjoy if you can’t share it with others?
My intended goal for this whole thing wasn’t just to make an animation film, much to my professors confusion. But to get people interested in my original work too. In the earliest concepts the capstone was a trailer/overview for the book, and my pre-production professor didn’t understand that and grilled me for choosing something that “didn’t exist”. So I decided to take a step back and chose a chapter that was important to Behind Closed Doors. Take Me, or the Alexander and the Closet chapter.
I think most artists understand that your original work won’t get as much recognition over fan art of something that’s well known and established. Do I think my original work is entitled to instant recognition? No, that’s something we as artists have to work for. While I don’t find this chapter the scariest or goriest chapter of Behind Closed Doors to adapt, I think this chapter represents my book the best. If any of you ever take the time to read it (thank you), this is what to expect.
Chaotic horror that doesn’t give you enough time to process what just happened. And emotional fallout from said unusual horror. It’s not about the gore or spooky characters, my more human characters have always been my focus. I’ve been both Eli and Britt when it comes to panic attacks or not feeling like you can trust anyone. It fucking sucks. Of course I’ve never had my “friend” impaled in front of me or went to the [REDACTED] prison though, so maybe I can’t say for certain I’ve been both. It’s a minor thing really, but surprisingly relevant to the first paragraphs of this train wreck. I started frantically writing about an angry girl hating everything as she’s transferred to a weird institute. I did that to avoid an impending panic attack.
Alright, fun facts to wrap this up. Instead of saying “Are you going to take me?” it was going to be “Are you going to kill me?”. Can you imagine it being titled KILL ME? There was going to be a second guard with Britt. He would’ve ordered Britt to shut up, don’t think about it and listen to the weird mutant. I think his addition would’ve clarified the roles guards are supposed to play. Be subservient to the mutants and guard the human guests. But he was cut for my sanity. I forgot to add food into the fridge and I now just realized that. Whoops. Eli’s going to eat air to feel like a human again.
Lillian’s existence is truly something. Her being in this chapter was a major change in both film and book. In the original draft, Eli was supposed to show up to her room to find nothing but a shady stalker’s cell. Confused, she’s then ambushed by Alexander and you know the rest of the story. So, her being “killed” was a random decision I couldn’t believe was allowed. Everyone’s confusion over her is so amusing. Like why include a character that dies so fast and act like she’s a main character too? Well, this goes back to the my main purpose. Bringing in interest.
I was told an interesting take towards the end. Confusion might turn people away. Maybe? I think there’s a fine balance to it. Maybe it’s cause I like stories that don’t tell me everything and I have to work to figure it out myself. Or I like stories that are more about the experience over the actual plot. I just wanted to make something complex and uncomfortable in the end. My favorite interpretation will always be Britt is Eli’s dad going to check on her in the closet after she hallucinated Alexander and Lillian. There’s just so much wrong with that and given future scenes….oh no. My characters would LOVE it if Alexander and Lillian weren’t real. But you know, it is what is. And I'm happy I finally got to share a bit of the story that has consumed m